Bunnies in the Hotel
by J.C. the Wabbit
Summary: Egad! She lives! Yeah...here's a funny little oneshot for ya! Well...at least I think it's funny, I don't know what you'll think...


J.C.: I don't own Looney Tunes…duh. After reading this you'll probably think…that I'm…well, just read it…

**The Hotel**

It was a hot summer evening. Bugs and Lola were on the road. They were coming back from a trip. Since it was still a long distance from their home, they decided to crash for the night at the next hotel. They found one adjacent to the highway and stopped the car. The hotel was small, but decent looking. It had two floors and a little garden in the front. Bugs parked the car in the small parking lot.

"Eh, I guess this will have to do," said Bugs stepping out the car

"Yeah, it was too long a drive. I don't think I could have taken it any longer," said Lola stretching as she too stepped out the car

They walked together towards the hotel. They stepped inside and went towards the clerk. The clerk was an old badger. She peered up from her reading glasses when the two Bunnies stepped in. She looked at them indifferently.

"What's up doc?" greeted Bugs

"Up where…" she said in a mellow tone

Bugs and Lola looked at each other. Lola tried to speak to her.

"A room for the night please," she said

The badger went over to a board behind her and removed a key from a hook. She handed it to Lola.

"Upstairs, last one at the end of the hallway," said the Badger

"Thanks," replied Lola

Bugs and Lola each grabbed their carry-on bags and went upstairs.

"She's very friendly…" said Bugs sarcastically

"Tell me about it…" said Lola

They walked down the corridor and reached their room. They unlocked the door and stepped inside. The room was small. It had a bed, a dresser, a TV set and a bathroom. They sat on the bed together.

"Cozy little place aint it?" said Bugs sitting on the bed

"Look, it has one of those coin operated TV sets," pointed out Lola, "that's cute."

"I'm kinda hungry, you wanna go see if they have anything to eat?"

"Nah…I'm not too hungry. I'll stay here and freshen up,"

"I'm gonna go look around," said Bugs getting up towards the door

"Alright," responded Lola

Bugs went out of the room. Lola lay down on the bed and yawned. She suddenly jerked up and looked at the mattress.

"Something poked me!" she said

Bugs stepped out of the room and began walking down the hallway. He came to the stairs and walked down. He found the hotel had an arcade. He went in but saw that none of the games struck his fancy. There were old pinball machines here and there and a ball toss. Most of the other machines were either rundown or in use at the moment. So Bugs just strolled out of there to see what else he could find in the lobby. Little did he know that there was someone there who recognized him. This character searched for his companion and found her playing a racing game.

"That was Bugs!" said Buster

"Yeah! I won! Eat my dust COMP! I own the high score!" exclaimed Babs as she did a happy dance, apparently not hearing Buster's remark

"Babs!" he said waving his hand in front of her

"What now blue boy? First, you were complaining that we needed to find a place to spend the night after traveling from the mallet convention; then how the rates in this hotel are too high; and then how there weren't any mints under the pillow. What's your problem now?"

"I just saw Bugs!"

"It's the middle of nowhere! What do you expect?"

"No, no! Bugs Bunny!"

"Bugs? What's he doing here?" she wondered

"I dunno,"

"Well…let's go say hi!" she said beginning to walk out

"No wait!" he said holding her arm

"What?"

"He was alone…"

"And?"

"He's married, isn't he?"

"No duh!"

"And she's not here with him? You don't think that Bugs is…"

"What are you suggesting?"

"A famous guy like Bugs Bunny comes up to this hotel in the middle of nowhere; with no sign of the Mrs. anywhere…Seems suspicious to me. Let's keep a low profile. Let's see what he's up to,"  
Babs rolled her eyes at him, but he pulled her along for the investigation.

Bugs had wandered into the gift shop. It was an odd gift shop with very 'particular' merchandise. You know: chocolates, champagne, cigarettes, and pregnancy tests. The Badger was at the register. Bugs came up to her and spoke.

"Do you have any…" he began

"Condoms are to the left," she interrupted

"What!"

"Let me remind you, 'Mr.Playah' to always put your ring back on,"

"I repeat: What!" he said even louder

"Isn't that what you're here for? A middle aged guy like you and a young gal come to this lonely hotel obviously to fornicate," she said blankly

"I'm a married man! She's my wife!" claimed the highly offended Bugs Bunny

"That's what they all say…" she said crossing her arms

"Excuse me, lady! But you shouldn't jump to conclusions!" he said pulling out his wallet and showing her a picture of his wedding to her, "see! That's us!"

She took out her glasses and looked closely at the picture. When she got a good look, her eyebrows shot up and her face turned red.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" she said becoming nervous

"I really don't appreciate you talking like that," Bugs said firmly

"I'm sorry. But you got to understand; it's just that I see that a lot in here and it just disgusts me to see my hotel be used for such sin. Please forgive my rudeness!"

Bugs put his wallet away and nodded at her, he calmed down.

"Apology accepted doc," he said coolly

"I am really sorry... Is there anything that I can do for you?" she said trying to be nicer

"Do you have any food?" asked Bugs

"Oh no, I'm sorry. The kitchen closed an hour ago. But we do have drinks here in the store. What can I get you?"

"Do you have any water?"

She went over to an ice box and pulled out a bottle of Poland Spring water.

"Thanks," he said after paying for it and leaving the room

After Bugs left the store, Buster and Babs went into the store. Buster was convinced that Bugs was up to something. Babs was convinced that Buster was overreacting. While Babs was taking note of the novelites, Buster noticed that Bugs left with a brown bag from the store. So he approached the Badger.

"Hello there, my dearMs. Badger, can you tell me who was that fellow who justpurchased something from your humble gift shop?" he said in a suave voice

"Why, that gray rabbit from room 15 just bought a Spring, why do you want to know?" she answered

"Um, no reason…" he said picking up his step and walking out of there, dragging Babs out of there.

"Real smooth," she commented sarcastically

"Why would Bugs buy a spring from a store with such…novelties?" wondered Buster

"A spring?" said Babs a little confused, "why would they sell springs?"

"We need to get to room 15 before he does," said Buster rushing up the stairs with Babs

They looked around the corridor and Bugs was nowhere to be seen. They assumed he went to another place of the hotel. They walked to the end of the hallway, but then a maid came out of her supply closet with her cleaning cart. The hallway was narrow, so they had to wait for her to move in order to find room 15.

Meanwhile,

Lola was on the bed watching the limited cable TV. She was bored. She then reached for her phone and made a call to her friend.

"Hello?" answered a voice

"Hey there Petunia," said Lola

"Hey girl, how are you?"

"Bored, I'm stuck in this hotel with nothing to do. There's just this TV in here with only a few channels," she said flipping through the channels

"That stinks,"

"Hey, listen to this!" said Lola putting the phone on speaker mode, "I got Univisión! I should practice my Spanish!"

"I didn't know you spoke Spanish,"

"¿De veras¿Yo nunca lo mencione?" (Really? I never mentioned it?)

"Uh…no comprendo…" said Petunia unsure of herself

"¡Mira¡Estan dando la novela!" (Look! They're giving the soap opera!)

"Mira?"

"I mean…oiga!" (listen)

"Ha, I know a few words…" said Petunia feeling not as unsure

There was a typicalHispanic soap opera on TV. It was in the middle of a love scene.

"I never liked novelas, they're too exaggerated" said Lola

"I don't like them because I don't understand them," said Petunia

They laughed

"Yeah. The stories are mostly the same. The girl falls for the guy, but the guy loves someone else. The girl gets jealous and tries to get her brother to get rid of the other girl. Then the brother falls in love with the other girl. The guy and the brother fight over that girl and…it just goes on and on," said Lola

"¡Arturo te amo!" imitated Petunia with her rough Spanish, "¡Pero Dolores es tu prometida¡No!"

"Yeah, something like that!" laughed Lola

"Wait a sec, isn't the name Lola…" began Petunia

"The shorthand version of Dolores? Yeah, you're right," interrupted Lola

"Cool. Hey did you get my package?" said Petunia changing the subject

"I did,"

"Open it!"

Lola went to her bag and pulled out a little parcel. She unwrapped it and opened the box.

"Cookies! Yum!" said Lola

"Macadamia, to be exact,"

"Thanks so much!"

Buster and Babs had finally gotten to the room. They listened at the door. They heard a moaning sound from inside.

"Mmmm! That's great!" said Lola after taking a bite out of a cookie

"I know! They're so delicious," added Petunia

"And if you bite in the right spot, you get a mouthful of nuts,"

They laughed.

Buster and Babs stopped listening and pulled away from the door for a moment; disturbed by what they just heard.

"Damn…" muttered Babs

"Not one, but two!" said Buster "He's good…"

"But didn't their voices sound familiar?" wondered Babs

"I really couldn't tell…"

Inside the room…

"That sounded so wrong…" said Petunia

"Oops!" said Lola

Buster and Babs returned to listening at the door again.

"I just thought of something," said Petunia, "I dare you to speak in Spanish for the rest of the day."

"Why?"

"Well, it is a romance language. And if you start speaking in Spanish in front of Bugs…then it may not be so boring,"

"Alright, you're on! He should be back any minute now,"

"Ahem?"

"Oh…El ya va a regresar pronto,"

"That's right! You better tell me how it all turns out, alright Dolores?"

"¡Ni lo dudes, chica¡Adios!" (Don't even doubt it, girl! Bye!)

Buster and Babs went away from the door.

"What did she say? asked Babs

"I don't know, my Spanish is still a little rusty," said Buster

"Huh? You speak Spanish?"

"I took Spanish with Sr.Gonzalez,"

"Speedy?"

"Si,"

"Did you pass?"

"No,"

"That helps…"

Just then they heard footsteps coming from the stairs. It could be Bugs, so they had to hide. They found the maid's closet to be open so they went inside it. They left the door ajar in order to see who it was. It was indeed Bugs. He opened his door and went inside the hotel room. As they heard the lock click, Buster and Babs let out a sigh of relief.

"That was close," said Buster

Just then the door closed in front of them.

"I thought I closed that door…" muttered a woman from outside

Buster tried the door, but it wouldn't open.

"Don't tell me we're locked inside," said Babs, with her eyes beaming angrily in the darkness

"Ok, I won't tell you," said Buster

Meanwhile…

"Hey Lo, miss me?" said Bugs

"Oh si. ¡Yo te extrane muchisimo!" (Oh yes! I missed you a lot!) said Lola

"Eh?"

"Estoy practicando mi español," (I'm practicing my Spanish)

Bugs takes out a 'Spanish For Dummies' book and glances through it.

"I gotcha…" he said closing the book

"Me voy a bañar, despues vemos que hacer…" (I'm gonna take a bath, then we'll see what we'll do…) she said going into the bathroom

"Te esperare, mi amor," (I shall wait for you, my love) called back Bugs

Lola looked at him with a smile, then went into the shower. Bugs sat on the bed and relaxed. Which was kind of difficult since it was so squeaky and uncomfortable.

"Hiyah!" came a karate yell.

The door was knocked down and the two bunnies emerged from the closet.

"Thanks Babs," said Buster

Babs smirked in response. Buster then walked towards the door.

"Buster! What are you doing?" called Babs

"What does it look like?" answered Buster

"Something tells me that we're making a mistake. Didn't you learn anything from the first time?"

"Yeah, I learned that a great detective needs more than just intuition to crack a case. I need evidence!"

"But what if there isn't a crime at all? What if it's just your imagination?"

"What if it isn't?"

Babs couldn't answer him. She then reluctantly followed him to the door.

They returned at the door and listened to what happened inside. They heard the sound of the bed moving and several other sounds. They looked at each other with disturbed looks on their faces.

"I think…they started…" said Buster

Bugs was shifting in bed. He couldn't find a comfortable spot. He would grunt in frustration every time he changed position. Then Bugs turned over too quickly and fell onto the floor. He got up and punched the bed in anger.

"Damn, this really blows…." He said

At that moment, Buster felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around and saw the maid towering before him.

"What do you think you two are doing?" she said angrily

Buster and Babs smiled defensively

"What now…" muttered Babs through her teeth

"Hi, we're the locksmiths! We were examining this one and it seems to be in great condition. Whoops gotta go, bye!" he jabbered quickly and pulled Babs out with him and away from the maid. They outran her easily, down the hallway.

Meanwhile…

Lola had finished her shower and came out of the bathroom. She had changed into her pajamas, which consisted of a tank top and shorts. She wore the long hotel robe as well. She came and sat next to Bugs on the bed.

"Hola, mi amor," (hello, my love) she said

"Hola, Lola," said Bugs

"¿Que te pasa?" (What's wrong?)

"Nothing,"

"¿Y ese ruido que oi?" (And that sound I heard?)

"I fell because this stupid bed is so uncomfortable,"

"Oh, yo te entiendo," (Oh, I understand)

"Wow, you should've seen what happened to me downstairs…"

Elsewhere…

Buster and Babs found another way to eavesdrop on Bugs. They were hanging from ropes that were attached at the roof. They were at Bugs' hotel window. They couldn't see a thing cause of the blinds, but they could hear what happened through the glass.

"Man, that was just unbelievable…" said Bugs

"¿Oh si?" (Oh really?) said Lola

Buster looked at Babs.

"I think he's talking to Dolores…" said Buster

"You mean they're taking turns?" asked Babs

They listened again.

"Probecito¿no estas disfrutando de tus vacaciones?" (You poor thing, you're not enjoying your vacation?) said 'Dolores' in a playful tone

"No…" answered Bugs in an equally playful tone

"Oh. Pues yo sere tu diverción…" (Oh. Then I'll be your fun…)

"Come to me, mamacita!"

The sounds of moaning and kissing came from the bedroom. The bed was moving around as there was a constant pounding on the mattress. Just then a ripping sound was heard as some fabric was torn and a BOING was heard. The squeaking of the bed stopped for a moment.

"Hay Papi!" exclaimed 'Dolores' in pain

"Damn! That thing just sprung up!"

Buster and Babs just looked at each other with highly disturbed looks on their faces.

"So that's why he bought the spring…" muttered Babs

"Oh man…" replied Buster. "I should try that…" he said to himself as an afterthought

They listened again.

The bed was squeaking again. They heard more sounds. They heard Bugs' moaning and grunting; and they heard 'Dolores's ' moans and giggles of excitement. They heard them rolling on the bed and the constant pounding over and over again. Buster and Babs were just in shock. Buster now wondered if he could see what was going on. He climbed a little down on the rope to the base of the window. The window was open a little. Buster stuck his finger through it to lift one of the blinds. Babs climbed down to where he was.

"Hey? Aren't you too 'innocent' for that?" she said

"My eyes aren't virgin anymore…" responded Buster

"Were they ever?" she said "What do you see?" she then asked

"Bugs is on the bottom cause the girl is on top. I can't really tell what they're doing because her robe is covering both of them…" he answered

"What does she look like?"

"I can't tell. It's dark in there and I can't tell whether she's a blonde or a redhead. But she's a rabbit alright; I can see her ears,"

"Buster, I don't like this. Let's get out of here," getting cold from the night air and feeling upset over what they've just witnessed

"No! We have tell Lola about this!"

Just then a gust of wind had lifted them off of the wall. Buster and Babs held on to the rope for dear life. The wind stopped but the forces of gravity caused them to swing back towards the window. They hit it at the same time, causing it to break in.

"Ahh!" screamed the blue and pink bunnies as they landed inside room 15. Bugs and 'Dolores' were startled by the crash and had fallen on the opposite side of the bed, on the door side. Buster then got up and dusted himself.

"I meant to do that…" he said standing all heroic-like.

Bugs then appeared from the other side of the bed. Only his head and shoulders were visible to Buster and Babs. Flake free!

"Buster? Babs?" he said with a mixed expression of shock and confusion

"You! Bugs Bunny, Are a filthy cheating jack ass!"

"What!" he screamed now full of anger

"Don't deny it!" said Buster, "You come up in here by yourself. The nerve! You have a wife, darn it!"

He walks over to the dresser and takes the brown bag that he spotted from the corner of his eye.

"You disgust me! You buy a spring from downstairs to use on your hired whores!"

"What the HELL are you talking about!" demanded Bugs

"Explain that 'boing' we heard, then?"

"Look for yourselves,"

Buster was taken aback but Babs cocked an eyebrow. Bugs pointed at the bed. Buster and Babs looked and saw a spring that had torn through the mattress.

"But…you bought a spring…" said Buster taking out the contents from the bag, "water?"

Babs took the bottle and gave Buster a glare.

"But still…you were here with two prostitutes! How do you explain that, huh?" continued Buster

"Prostitutes!" yelled Bugs

Just then 'Dolores' struggled to appear beside Bugs. Her face was covered with a bed sheet. She was fidgeting underneath.

"You can't explain that?" he said pointing at her

'Dolores' sat up straight. She then tried to take the bed sheet off of her. Bugs was helping her.

"How could you Bugs! Lola is a great woman! How could you do this to her!" pleaded Babs

"¿Hacerme que?" (Do what to me?) said Lola finally getting the covers off of her face.

"LOLA!" exclaimed Buster and Babs

"What are you doing here!"demanded Buster

"What do you mean what I'm doing here! What are you doing here!" she said now angry and forgetting about her dare with Petunia

"I-I thought…th-th-that…sp-sp-speaking sp-sp-spanish" said Buster beginning to stutter

"So what if I was speaking Spanish? You two had better start explaining!" she demanded

Buster looked at Babs. She only crossed her arms and waited for him to respond to them.

"But…who was that other woman in here?"

"Other woman?" said Lola. She thought for a moment.

"Hah! You thought you had me! You Lola imitator!" interrupted Buster

"Imitator! I'm the real deal!"

"Prove it, doll face!"

Lola glared and fire filled her eyes. She pulled out a basketball from behind her and shot it. It bounced all over the place and even square off of Buster's head, knocking him down. The basketball made it towards its destination, a garbage can at the other side of the room.

"Don't ever call me doll!" she fumed

"That's her alright…" muttered Buster getting up

Babs didn't feel like helping him, because she knew he deserved it. But she couldn't find an explanation to his question herself…

"But then, who was that other woman?" asked Babs

"You two must've heard my conversation with Petunia," answered Lola

"Petunia? But she's not even here!" said Buster

Lola pulled out her cellphone, "ever hear of speaker phone?"

"Uh…" said Buster running out of comebacks. He then had a thought.

"Care to explain what you were doing in here? You two can't use the 'video game' excuse again, can you?" said Buster

Bugs and Lola were silent. They looked at each other, and looked back at Buster and Babs. The each had a calm look on their faces, which worried Buster a little. Bugs and Lola lifted their eyebrows and smirked. Babs instantly got the message.

"Well?" demanded Buster

"I'm really sorry!" interrupted Babs, "I'll keep an eye on blue boy. I wont let him interrupt…um…bother you two again.." she said rushing out of the room, dragging Buster by the ears.

"Hey! They still didn't answer me!" protested Buster

"They're married, let's leave it at that…" yelled Babs

Bugs and Lola looked on. Bugs got up and locked the door once they left.

"Sheesh!" said Lola "there's no respect for privacy nowadays!"

"Tell me about it!" said Bugs

"Now they got me all upset and out of the mood…" she in a humph

She sat on the bed, crossed her arms, and pouted. Bugs looked at her then approached her slowly. He then pounced on her, causing them both to fall back on the bed. He held her close and kissed her vigorously. She forgot her anger and placed her arms around him. He released his kiss for a moment.

"You want to continue?" she whispered

"Mmm hmm," he answered as he lip locked with her again

He then smothered her with more kisses on her face and neck. She giggled and held him close to her. She looked straight into his eyes, and he into hers.

"You're so bad…" she moaned

"I know…" he responded with a wicked smile

J.C.: Of course, the alternate title to this story was Bunnies in the Burrow 2. Need I say more?

OK, maybe I do...I'm currently working on two longer stories: a drama of about 8 chappies...and alsoalengthy story, probably my next 'In the Beginning'...(It's not a sequel...persay) So I ask you, my faithful readers, to have some patience with me...I promise I won't disappoint you!


End file.
